Worthy

November 7, 2017 | Uncategorized | Permalink

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I became aware this week that I have a pretty major roadblock I need to jump over. Sometimes you think you are getting all your crap worked through then BAM you find another issue that needs your attention.

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What caused this revelation. Three simple words. You. Deserve. This.

Ummm, who ME? No way. I literally have a physical reaction to those words. The veins in my head tighten up, I get nauseous, and my skin gets all prickly. This is nothing new, it always happens when I receive praise such as that. But this time I realized, hey ding dong, there is something going on here and ya gotta get through it. This response is totally holding me back. This is unacceptable, and I intend to change it!

I know exactly where it all stems from, the little nasty jerk in my head is spouting off at me right now. She spouts off her own hateful banter but she also likes to replay the soundtracks of every rotten thing told to me throughout my whole life. I am not even going to repeat all that nastiness. I am just going to begin ripping that tape up. Because you know what? I ain’t got time for that.

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Yesterday and in the middle of last night I wasn’t so positive. But as I drove to yoga today I realized I think the word I need to embrace is not deserve but WORTHY. I will start working on it now but it will definitely be my word for 2018. Worthy. I am worthy. I am worthy to receive praise. I am worthy to receive love. I am worthy to receive success, abundance, happiness….

Maybe by becoming worthy I can accept the word deserve. I don’t know, we’ll see where that goes. But I have mad tools at my disposal. I am making new friends who are enriching my life daily. I have the magical power of oils, yoga, Zumba, dogs, massage etc. to help me through this journey.  I started a 21 day meditation challenge 9 days ago and although everyday has hit home with the theme of  Making Every Moment Matter yesterday was pretty profound and I actually had to do the mediation twice. I copied this from their page to share….

Day 8 – The Wounds of Time Can Be Healed

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” – Amit Ray

The wounds of time are the negative experiences of our past or our anxieties about the future. These memories and negative emotions hinder our ability to fully remain in the present moment. We begin to heal these emotional debts by noticing our reactions to triggering situations. We observe our responses without judging or condemning them. This simple act of letting conscious awareness be present and alert to our reactions will begin to heal these old wounds. In today’s meditation, we experience this conscious awareness in the stillness of our mind.

This post didn’t end being what was running through me head in the middle of the night, and I am grateful for it. I have spent a lot of time in the past blogging about WHY I am the way I am, and although it was helpful at the time because I needed to get it out, I am done with that. From now on I will blog about what I am doing to help myself through radical self care that will eventually help me embrace being worthy, and whatever else comes to light that needs fixing!

Misconceptions

August 20, 2017 | Uncategorized | Permalink

Are misconceptions holding you back? I know they have held me back in the past, but not anymore. Let me share some thoughts with you this morning on not holding yourself back because you think you don’t meet “the requirements”.

Yoga. This was a big one for me. Especially as my body matured and I wasn’t the waif I once was. I was embarrassed and would wear a giant shirt that I was always tugging on because it was up to high or smothering me in down dog. I went to a studio for a long time where most everyone was the picture perfect yogi, with high end gear, and makeup. If I didn’t adore my teacher so much I probably wouldn’t have gone as long as I did. I like going to the YMCA because it is a diverse class and I really don’t think anyone would feel self conscious in there because we are all different sizes, shapes, color, ages, sexes, and skill levels. I don’t wear the giant shirt anymore. I dress to be comfortable and secure, belly and all.

My friend Amber is an empowering young woman who can help you make the modifications you need to make sure you are getting the most out of your practice.

 At Body Positive Yoga, students of all shapes and sizes will find tips, tricks, and modifications to make yoga asana work for their unique body, instead of being squished into poses for the sake of form over function. I emphasize safe alignment and mindful transitions in my classes, and give each student permission to honor the body they bring to the mat today, while being empowered to learn about the body’s intelligence and power. At the blog we discuss yoga asana, mindfulness, body image, and radical self acceptance. Join us!bp

Zumba. If I hear ooonnneeee more person say they can’t do Zumba because they can’t dance or aren’t coordinated I am going to scream. Do you think I am? I have very little rhythm, have never danced, I am uncoordinated and clumsy. Ok, I get it if it is frustrating and it makes you angry, weight lifting does that to me, I hate it. But if you are just afraid you are going to look like a fool, get over yourself. I find it liberating to get in there and dance. I laugh, I spin, sometimes I have to stop to what the heck is going on. Here is a snapshot of some of my Zumba friends, Phyllis and her new pacemaker declined to be in it but we often have folks from the ages of 18-80 in our class. There again, I am really comfortable at the YMCA because of the diversity we have cancer survivors, heart patients, grandmothers, new moms, big, small, coordinated and not. We are welcoming and supportive so don’t be scared! zumba

Essential Oil Users. Nope, you don’t have to be a hippie to embrace the oily life. hqdefault (1)This is the newest thing I am in to, ok totally freakin’ obsessed with is essential oils. In getting to know the oily community I initially kind of felt like they are those high end yogis on steroids. Super healthy, fit and seemingly having their life on point. To share their enthusiasm they are touting a life of healthy, toxin free living. I admit to having reservations about joining in on the fun for fear that I wasn’t going to meet their standards. But as I usually do in life, I said F it and jumped on in. Am I going to stop bleaching my hair and having beers on the porch. Nope. I eat meat and conventional produce. Honestly I cannot afford to eat free range and all organic. I can barely afford the oils. One step at a time. I make my living selling cheese so being vegan is out of the question. I exercise but more for the mental aspect of it than losing weight. I just like to move, keep my lymph system moving, sweat a little and get my heart rate up.  My point is, you don’t have to be a certain kind of person to jump on the oil train. Be you and incorporate what you can into your life as you can.

Ok, I am done with my preachin’ today! Peace out y’all.

Loving Every Drop

August 1, 2017 | Oils | Permalink

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I thought this was a funny meme since earlier I saw someone had referred to oils being “usually pushed by snake oil salesmen”. 

Let’s set the record straight, I am not going to push anything on anyone. I am just sharing things I am figuring out along the way. Sharing is caring right? You can take it or leave it. So here is what I am figuring out today, when I was going to go to the beach but ended up figuring out my ER order and enjoying being at home with my pups with the windows open and the cicadas singing.

My oil of choice is Young Living. Yes, it is more expensive than other brands but if you are fully embracing an oily lifestyle you will be buying enough to reap the benefits of free monthly promotional items as well as accumulating points to get MORE free stuff.  In my opinion it is set up this way to get to you to incorporate oils into all aspects of your daily life. And mind you this is all without having to sell anything to anyone. You can fully utilize all that Young Living has to offer without being a “snake oil salesman” or you can explore the business side if you wanted. The choice is yours. Today I am just sharing how I am affording to incorporate these oils into my life. It has taken a little investment and a few months to really get the maximum promotions but this month I am HERE and next month will be even easier because I will be 4 months in and earning twice as many  points per order.

First things first things first…I bought the kit. This is when I began drinking the Kool Aid. I was completely new to oils and had nothing to start with. This is obviously designed to get you everything you need to get started, at a significant savings and lots to work with.

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Dewdrop™ Diffuser
Premium Essential Oils Collection

Lavender 5-ml
Peppermint Vitality™ 5-ml
Lemon Vitality™ 5-ml
Copaiba Vitality™ 5-ml
Frankincense 5-ml
Thieves® Vitality™ 5-ml
DiGize™ Vitality™ 5-ml
Purification® 5-ml
R.C.™ 5-m
PanAway® 5-ml

Stress Away™ 5-ml
AromaGlide™ Roller Fitment
10 Sample Packets
10 Love It? Share It! Sample Business Cards
10 Love It? Share It! Sample Oil Bottles
2 NingXia Red® 2-oz. samples
Product Guide and Product Price List
Essential Oil Magazine
Essential Edge
Member Resources

I signed up for Essential Rewards which gives you points for purchases and free stuff the more you spend. The only catch is spending $50 a month, but that is super easy once you get your oily groove on.

This is a photo taken in my second month. I had already used and replaced the Peppermint and Lavender, as well as adding a few blends into the mix. Below is the Facebook post I had made after someone inquired as to what I was doing with my oil besides diffusing it.

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All of these are incorporated into my daily life. This is not to say they are the only ones I use but these are worked into my routine…which you know I gotta have routines. 
Valor: morning on ankles. In roller with peppermint and lavender for sporadic use throughout the day.
Peppermint and Endoflex on lower back in morning.
Endoflex on thyroid at bed time.
Lavender at bedtime..misted, rolled, neat…whatever
Abundance: diffused at home and work. As perfume.
Lemon or other citrus in water… with fresh lemon.
Frankincense in lotion for face and neck.
Peppermint and Lavender mister: as needed.
Copaiba for Sadie dog (me as needed). Anti inflammatory twice a day internally (one drop) to help her arthritis.
Sadie gets a little lavender rubbed on her underside with coconut oil because I just think it’s soothing.

I am using even more now. Thieves in my cleaning bottles and Citrus Fresh in my water and/or kombucha. A lot of R.C. lately all over my chest because of sinus/respiratory issues along with the Deep Relief roller, again for sinus headaches lately. As well as Stress Away in diffuser and topically. I could go on but you get the gist. I basically either A. Google what I think I need help with. or B. Google an oil I am not sure what to do with. I am getting to know and love them one at a time. And whereas I used to think I could only handle one at a time, I am literally using many singles and blends all over me as needed throughout the day. Although En-R-Gee and I are having a hard time becoming friends. It is an overwhelming oil for me stimulation and scent wise.

This month I am restocking a few items and trying out some new ones. Along with my order I added a few things to sell at The Creative Wedge to go along with our new diffuser jewelry and a few items for a friends who are not interested in keeping up with an account of their own.

And here I am…I rearranged my order and am spending just a hair over what I needed for the full 300PV freebies. Noooo, you know I don’t have kids but I am sure I will make good use out of the ready to roll on blends made for them. I mean really age is just a state of mind right?

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And after it is all processed I will have roughly $99 worth of points to spend on whatever I want! Folk’s that is a lot of stuff and it really evens the playing field of the cost aspect of this brand. And let me state again…all that without selling anyone anything.

Sooooooo……

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Drank the Kool Aid

July 20, 2017 | Uncategorized | Permalink

kool aidI did it, I drank the Kool Aid. I am a believer…now.

I signed on with Young Living and I LOVE it! Love, Love, Love it. I didn’t always believe, I always associated essential oils (EO) with Patchouli, to much, cheap patchouli at Grateful Dead shows. Gross. Then I was at work one day, was sick and a customer came in with another line of oils and proceeded to not only give me what she felt I needed, which was enough for my first experience, she had me smelling, ingesting and applying a plethora of others. 30 minutes later, after she was gone I was a hot mess. My heart rate was up, I was breathing uncomfortably and could not get enough water in me. Also, when I inquired about the initial oil applied to me , on how I could purchase a bottle I was told that I should just sign up because that’s the way it worked. Um, no. Told her I would consider it and then after getting sick(er) I threw out the literature she left me. A while later another gal came in the shop who was repping YL and wanted to come and do something at the shop. I immediately said no. I couldn’t handle the smells. At The Creative Wedge we began working with Kylene of Roses Ridge Farm and The Aromatherapy Shop and I started to think differently towards EO’s. Then I met Noelle and Stephanie (who happens to be the wife of one of my oldest friends). Noelle inquired about an event at the shop and I said, only if you sit outside. LOL. Well, guess what, they are coming to the shop this Saturday INSIDE. This will be the first of many EO events at The Wedge. By following Kylene’s facebook page, Roses Wellness Garden,  along with following “the girls”, Steph and Noelle, adventures I began to soften and become really interested in what they were doing and how EO’s worked. Barbara and I placed an order through her existing account and then I was hooked. I ended up signing on under Steph and got my kit. I didn’t bother setting up the Essential Rewards right away, that lasted a week. I immediately recognized the value in in that program. But I’ll save that for another blog post.

I actually have quite a lot to say about my oily adventure and could yammer on for an hour or more but alas, I cannot. Let me just say that this is a piece of my life’s puzzle that has been missing. I had a profound shift in my view of my business and my relationship with loved ones right at the time of discovering the value of EO’s. I am a believer in the Law of Attraction as well the setting of intentions. I love rituals and routines (I was probably a Catholic or a Voodoo Priestess in a former life), and I really love learning new things. I am excited to share with you my experiences and things I am learning along the way.

Peace out folks, I have a big day ahead of me! Work, sending gals to Kings Grant Farmers Market and a quick trip to RVA for the Supersuckers!!!!

 

Happy

July 11, 2017 | Uncategorized | Permalink

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This may sound weird, but I am happy and I have a hard time expressing it. I can rant and rave for hours about this that and the other, but yet feel hokey saying I am happy. I mean come on, who is reeeaaallllyyyy happy? It can’t be true, you know you read other people’s posts and think they are making that sh*t up. No one is that happy. You’re convinced that that they are painting this picture perfect life that has got to be a hot mess in reality. But I swear to the universe that I AM HAPPY…and maybe still a hot mess.

I have to say I have got it going ON right now. I NEVER thought I could find happiness and contentment in life. Now I am not saying I won’t be a raging b*tch in a few hours about one thing or another, I do have PMS and my moods shift like the wind. You may also not believe that I never thought I could find contentment. I grew up a latch key kid I was very lonely, especially in the summer, undiagnosed PMDD and a long series of poor life choices had me in a whirlwind of hate and discontentment, attracting other people in that same state of mind. Granted, I have always been a self helper by reading books, trying yoga, changing my diet, attempting to exercise but inevitably returning to a place of unhappiness.

But I realize now that I look back that all of those things helped, and still help. I still read self help books, I just finished Oola For Women. I am reading my third consecutive book on using essential oils. I am back to practicing yoga and discovered I love Zumba. I enjoy cooking healthy food for my husband and I but still make a cake or other comfort foods. I listen to my body and talk with the doctor when my attempts at treating something fall short. I value myself and try every day to take care of myself. I used to want to die, I was good with death, death would mean the elusive peace I could never find. I am so very grateful that death did not come and that I made it through to find the elusive peace. That I didn’t give up, I am sort of a survivor in a sense and I am not ashamed to say it.

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I find that I am continually attracting awesome people into my life. My business partner, Barbara, and I  have created a job for ourselves that we love. I continue to learn new things everyday by listening to others, reading and Google. I use social media as a positive tool and hide/block/unfollow/delete anything that doesn’t inspire me or make me happy.

Do I always feel good and do the right things? #nope I didn’t go to the Y one day last week. But have already been twice this week. I have eaten blueberry cake for breakfast the last few days. I drank a few beers Saturday night, which made me cranky on Sunday. But I keep on keepin’ on. Universe, I got this. I know life won’t always be perfect but I have tools, friends, and love to help me through. Thanks y’all!

Universal Magic

July 4, 2017 | Uncategorized | Permalink

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Good Morning World!

This post may be a bit hooey for some of you so quit reading now if you don’t believe in the powers of the universe.

Is it the power of the universe, your God, the intentions you set, the law of attraction, the power within yourself that talks to you through intuition or hard work and determination that makes your dreams come true?

I sort of feel like all of them combined although I do tend to be a bit agnostic in the God front but many of you are on good terms with God so I’ll include it/him/her. I became aware of the powers of visualization in my 30′s. I realized that in my early 20′s I had visualized myself in a large garden of my own with music playing. In my 30′s I had over a 1ooo sq. ft. garden on my dad’s property, iPods and portable speakers had been invented since then and Here. I. Was. I am grateful that at that moment I realized that I had set this moment in action years ago. I am grateful that I have the ability to pay attention and recognize such things, it was a life changing moment. Why did the universe show itself to me at that moment, in the garden? Because I needed to learn PATIENCE! Any of you who garden know that patience is key when growing things. There is no instant gratification in gardening, well that is if you are looking for a sprout to immediately pop out of the ground. The evidence of your work is always noticeable when gardening but maybe not a bloom the next day. Gardening taught me that life is a process of many steps, adjustments, and hard work. I don’t have that garden anymore and am ok with that, it was something I needed at that time because I had a lot to learn.

Let me stop here and point out that I am not asking for good fortune, wealth, health or what not. I mean I AM, but not in the sense of asking the universe to GIVE me anything, instead I ask the universe to HELP me help myself. I ask what do I need to do to achieve such and such. And then have patience damn it, because it does not (usually) happen over night. I often find the universe often “throws me a bone” to let me know I am on the right path. Pay attention folks.

I am not going to yammer on about all the things I paid attention too, followed my intuition on and what not, I am sure I have blogged about all of them in the past. But I will say you need to listen to yourself. Do what you need to do to clear your mind and be able to hear what your next step is. Then DO IT. Does it always pan out, no. But keep at it. Also, make sure you have a support system of friends, family, animals. Open up to folks that will listen to you, encourage you and offer, sometimes unsolicited, advice. Surround yourself with creative and positive people. Get rid of the naysayers and Debbie Downers. Sweet Brown knows the deal….

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You are going to need all the help you get so ask for help when you need it and open yourself up to accept it! Mean, negative nasty people aren’t who you need to “help” you. They only want to see you struggle and fail.

What inspired me to write this post today? An essential oil experience, or should I say LACK of oil. I have been using an oil blend in the evenings on my throat. I have been sleeping really well and have had none of my usual anxiety dreams. Yes, I have a set of standard anxiety filled dreams that wake me up and night and keep me up stressed as all get out. I forgot to put it on last night, remembered but sluffed it off and told myself I would do it next time I got up. At 3:45 I awoke after having a massive anxiety fueled dream. After  45 minutes of focusing on breath, gratitude mantras, you name it I realized the oil I had forgotten. So I went ahead and put it on after now being up for over an hour and not wanting to stay up because I have a lot to do today. After application, I promptly fell back asleep and slept soundly for 2 more hours! Was it the oil, exhaustion, or the power of suggestion that put me to sleep? I don’t know for sure but it worked and I am thankful!

Oils are new to me, I am learning about them every day and think they are going to be a great tool in the years to come for me. Here is where the universe threw me a bone yesterday. Sunday morning I was rearranging my cart for my Essential Rewards order. I was trying to keep it at around $100. But as I kept putting things in and taking them out I decided, what the hell, I am going to get what I want which also allows me to get 3 things free because of how much it all cost. I will figure out how to pay for it later. Yesterday I received a wholesale order for tea towels that will more than cover my purchase and leave me a little to pay on my loan!!!!! I swear, I can’t make this sh*t up.

So all that being said, here comes the work part, because nothing is “free”, instead of going to a party at 2 I will be listening to my book and ironing towels. I won’t work all day but I won’t be over there that early for sure. I am grateful to be able to have my side job at home, free boobing with my dogs….I can wait a few more hours before I have a beer.

Peace out y’all, Happy 4th and all that jazz, I have work to do!humble

First Step

May 10, 2017 | inspiration, life | Permalink

stepWhaaaaaaaaat, it has been almost a YEAR since I blogged, the horror. I kind of fell apart last May and I guess I just got out of the habit. But I notice that I am getting wordier and wordier on Facebook and I better just get back on over here for all this blathering. Plus two conversations this week, one of which who told me to write it down, and the other stated that people have helped her along the way and she wants to help others. This is sort of what this blog has evolved to. Me talking about how crazy I am and folks reaching out to say “Thank You, I am crazy too and I am glad I am not alone”. This post today is probably redundant to some as you already know my story, but I feel like writing it again for some who have just found me. So that being said I am going to illustrate why it is important to take a that first step. I was originally going to say Leap of Faith but that sound too scary, in retrospect it was a leap of faith when I decided to change my life, but it all started with one step, one foot in front of the other, until 16 or so years later I am living my dream, happy, healthy and relatively sane (more on THAT another day). take-the-first-stepToday I am going to summarize (or try, you know I like to “talk”) this journey. I think it helps put in in perspective for those who think they can’t do it. You CAN, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Late 20′s – I am not happy with the way my life is going. I am drinking too much, partying too much, not taking care of myself. I was manic, depressed and often suicidal. I need to step away from my “scene”. I was having doubts that the folks I spent all my time with were really my friends. I figured I would adjust my life accordingly and if they were still my friends they would stick around. Most of them didn’t.  This was also the beginning of a permanent rift with a loved one, but I was drowning and I needed to change. First step is becoming aware that change is needed. Second step is willing to walk away from your “comfort” zone and accept that you might need to make new friends.

30′s – My dad offers me a job. I took it. Why not, what do I have to lose this is just another step. Then he convinces me to buy a house, well he wanted me to get a condo or something more manageable for a single woman. That’s not how I roll though, I wanted a house. 4 walls and a yard for my dog. The week I am closing on said house I run into a friend who needs to move, “hey move in with me”. This would be my husband of almost 12 years now. This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t keep stepping, occasionally leaping, the house was definitely a leap. Looking back on it I would have really struggled to keep up with all of this if I were alone. But when Chris was still just my friend and I was shopping for a home he told me that if any chick could own and manage a house it would be me, he has always had faith in me.

So I am still a bit manic with bouts of depression. I am not drinking regularly but binging when I do and it s really taking it’s toll on me. Eventually I go to a new doctor and get diagnosed with PMDD and get on good combo of birth control and anti depressants! Holy Moly my life took a turn for the best, why in the hell did I not do this sooner?! With this I tell you DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SEEK HELP! There is no shame in admitting that you need it, that you can’t do it alone. You do not have to, help is there you just have to take that STEP. But let me add that you may have to take a few steps, you may not like that doctor, or the meds didn’t work, don’t give up, get a new doctor or change your meds.

40′s – Ok, so now I am doing great! I am not thinking about axing myself on a regular basis, I am creating art, I am married, have multiple dogs and I start doing art and craft shows. Get up with a group of ladies and craft once a month ( I know I have written a really good post on this but can’t find it right this minute to link). Now I am learning new skill sets, making NEW friends. My self confidence is growing and I take another leap and decide to leave the security of my dad’s business and out on my own (and my BFF Barbara). We still took this one step at a time though. 1. Hey let’s go into business. 2. Come up with a rough idea of what we want to do, get an LLC and so on. It is all a series of small steps that make something huge, beautiful and magical. We have been open for 4 years.

Is life always perfect? Nope. I still get low but I recover. I am still learning everyday how to be a better person. Am I always the person I strive to be? Nope. But I keep going. And as I go I continually meet and/or reconnect with people that help me along this journey of life. Each person is more amazing than the next. I am so grateful for them and I surely hope I can also be of help to others…so I will continue to write. Holler if you need me!

Yellow People Project

June 2, 2016 | life | Permalink

yellowdogproject-300x224 My morning thoughts after I left the YMCA today were about the challenge it is for some of us to get through a day. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to tie a yellow bow on me somewhere to warn folks to let me have my space. And before you say it, NO headphones do not always work. So maybe headphone and a yellow bow.

When you are a little crazy like me you have good days and bad. Some days it takes a pep talk to get out of bed and it is important to stay busy so you don’t dwell on things. One of the things I like to do to stay busy is to go to the Y. It is a good way to start the day, boost my endorphins, get healthy and feel better about myself. If I am having a “bad” day one of the things that holds me back though is the fact that folks want to talk with me. I really like all the folks that I go to the Y with but I am not always in the mood to chat away with someone for 30 minutes at 6am. I am sure it confuses folks that one day I can be full of smiles and other days I avoid eye contact. These folks are acquaintances and I do not feel the need to tell them I am having a “bad” day or explain myself. It is hard to explain crazy. I am well aware of the things that go through my head are nonsense but it doesn’t stop the thoughts from forcing their way in and ruining my days. I know they mean well, want to offer condolences and or advise but you know what, I just don’t want to hear it. I know all this stuff, I know that this too shall pass so just let me lope along on the treadmill listening to my book, or rock n roll in peace. And I don’t want to be a dick, it’s not their fault I am Miss Crabby Pants and I am not out to ruin anyone else’s day or give them a complex so it is just easier to stay home. But I shouldn’t have to! Just like a challenging dog shouldn’t be kept from going for a walk I shouldn’t have to stay home because I don’t want to play nice!

So I propose the Yellow People Project! What do you think?!

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To Draw or Not To Draw….

June 1, 2016 | life | Permalink

pen-and-paper

Before you say anything, I am aware of the fact that in the time it would take to write this post I could have actually MADE something…anything…even if I just ironed towels. But I am feeling more introspective than creative today and would really rather just sit still and try and make sense of the mania that swirls around in my head. Although I am having lady issues today, which is another reason I prefer to sit still, my brain is on overdrive and I am pretty sure my heart rate is elevated. Yeah, welcome to my world.

I am often beating myself up because I am an artist who does not make art. I have ideas all day everyday but I just cannot seem to act on them. Part of it is priorities, you know like running a business, exercise, sleep, eating, laundry and the like…but part of it is procrastination. Then there is that issue of funds. I know I should make art for the sake of art but I am just not there right now in my life. Unfortunately I am not independently wealthy, I did not open a business because I needed something to do. Yes, some ladies have opened a shop and told me when they were in The Wedge getting ideas before they opened (at least they were honest and are 45 minutes away) but yes, they told me their husbands told them they needed something to do so they opened their little business. I actually need to earn a living and although I am making do well enough at this time I have depleted my savings and am not prepared for anything out of the ordinary to happen because it would crush me. Some people might look at my attitude as being a sell out but I see it as survival and I do not see anything wrong in using my creative abilities to earn money. Believe it or not other artists can be mean and judgemental, but c’est la vie, I have always walked to the beat of my own drum anyways.

I know I will never draw like a great master, but I do need to draw well enough to get my outlines and proportions in place. I will never master the craft of hand lettering as well as someone like Igor, IMG_7304 but I can do a better job than below….

cattalk1

I just need to practice…and not procrastinate. Maybe rather than perusing Facebook while I have my morning coffee I should doodle and sketch. I need to create healthier habits for myself. See, I am already working through my problems as I type LOL.

You all know that one way I earn extra cash is by designing and printing tea towels.

My first towel was this one….

homeiswheretowelIt is an illustration that I actually drew, and collaged with my painted tissue paper. I was able to layer my scanned in tissue paper over the font for a little more texture. There are a few things that bother me about this though, the colors get altered in translation and a lot of the detail/texture is lost. Plus it’s done, there you have it, a pink trailer.

Example of my tissue paper…2-12-2011_4THEN I discovered sites offering creative content at very reasonable prices. You see below is a watercolor of a sailing ship (I have never played with watercolors but I love the look of it), this came in a big package of nautical goodness ready to go. The font and the doodle came in a separate package as well as the watercolor that I was able to adjust the font and water doodle with. Easy peasy, except I feel like a complete fraud. Although I am completely happy with the layout, it prints fantastic and it took up very little time I cringe a little everytime I look at it.
1ShipRGBYet I cringe when I see If Cats Could Talk because I should use a “real” font until I can get a little better at lettering. BUT the cat doodle got my wheels spinning. I actually doodled the cat and then scanned it. Then I used a watercolor out of photoshop. Which is great because I got to play around with different colors and opacities without “ruining” the image. I have also learned a little bit about styles, patterns and seamless background by purchasing things from Creative Market. I am thinking with a little research I can scan my tissue in and make it so I have a little more versatility when using it.

Another funny thing is, now that I have discovered these creative content sites I see it EVERYWHERE. I see these designs come through our shop on a regular basis, yes, they may be altered and tweaked and made the artist own, but I know they cheated a little too. Kind of makes me feel a little better about myself. Ha!

This morning I have got to thinking that maybe I should work on getting my parts….doodles, illustrations, tissue papers, letter etc… into the computer. I am also battling with doing an online course with Sketchbook Skool for a kick in the pants to get me in the habit of drawing and some inspiration. And then maybe I could even upload them into Creative Market into a little shop of my own for a little more income?? Thoughts? I mean shoot, if it’s out there it’s out there and folks will steal and copy it if they want so why not try and make a little passive income.

The lively introvert

April 20, 2016 | life | Permalink

introvertTo be my friend you have to accept the fact that we will probably never spend much time together. I am often surprised that I have maintained many friendships over the years and actually continue to make new friends. I am grateful that they understand me and don’t take it personally.

I got up extra early to go to the Y and have time to print towels but I feel the need to express myself.

I always feel the need to explain myself because I do not want people to think I am a snob (I have been called that) or no fun (been called that too), it hurts my feelings when people think and say the things about me. My lively personality often contrasts with my necessity to be alone, which I think is part of the problem with new people understanding me. The fact that I am constantly meeting new people is the reason I suppose that I often feel the need to explain myself.

The Creative Wedge has made my heart full and bursting from all of the wonderful folks that I have met along the way. I value each and every one of you and am grateful beyond belief to have met you. The Creative Wedge IS my social life. For instance yesterday the first two hours of my day was a stream of family and friends, some shopping others just visiting. I had a minute to do some computer work and then lots of shoppers coming through that I spent time chatting with. Later in the day I had a few more visitors. I had a great day, besides the fact that I wore the wrong shoes and my legs and back were killing me when it was over. But then I had a commitment to go to, something fun with lots of folks I like but I just could not do it. I was so tired and hungry, all I wanted was food, my bed, my pups and my book! So I went home feeling guilty but knowing I had to to do what was best for me.

Some facts about the lively, loud mouth, yet reclusive me:

I do best with one of one or maybe a few others but not parties. I am easily over stimulated and it turns a fun atmosphere into something very stressful for me.

I am a morning person. Although I am good for a quiet dinner occasionally I am at my most lively in the early morning.

I can’t handle very much alcohol these days so anything involving food, art, crafting, or walks with dogs is always a preferred activity for me.

I will love you for ever if you can give me the space to be me!! xoxo