I lay awake for most of the night last night thinking about the fear of change and also the financial repercussions of a major life changing event.
Fortunately my change is a planned change…no unexpected illness or catastrophic event is causing this…95% of the time I am upbeat and positive of this venture and it’s eminent success. I feel it deep down in my heart. I know I am doing what is right for me and my soul.
Unfortunately to do what’s right for me it affects others… my employer (aka Dad) and my husband. Dad will recover, he had been in business a long time before I came there and will continue fine with out me. So although it may be an inconvenience for him that I am not there it won’t be the end of his business. My husband is a different story. I see the manifestation of his stress level almost daily now. He tries to remain upbeat and supportive…but he is my husband and I can see what it is doing to him. I am trying to keep the lines of communications open…I don’t want any resentments to come up…from either if us…
For years now we have talked about change…living a life that we would be excited to greet each day and was fulfilling …blah blah blah…I know you have had the conversations with your loved ones…but there comes a time where you have to shut up and just do it…I saw this picture this morning on facebook….
One of my husbands worry is financial…understandably so..but his comment that “nothing can change” and “we can’t go backwards” is a little unnerving to me. At first I had assured him nothing would change but I realize now that statement is a lie. While awake in bed last night I was thinking about what our finances have gotten us…good things like a new energy efficient boiler, roof, windows and kitchen and then all the frivolous things that we can easily live without. Just because I can buy pretty much whatever I want whenever I want doesn’t buy me happiness. ..most of that stuff ends up at the thrift store..it’s stuff. The things that make me happy are him, our cozy home and our 3 dogs. Between the two of us we can manage on much less. That I am sure of.
My friend and mentor Lynn told me …
“what I always ask myself is… when I take my last breath what will be important … the experiences I gather or the money I leave in my bank account ….”
So folks,, thanks for reading…I just needed a little blog therapy…I feel better now..thanks!